Fast Day 17

I missed yesterday because we were shopping for new cars.  I was actually a little frustrated and it was caused by the fast.  My brain is slowing down.  It just won't work.  I have two degrees in business and I couldn't understand what Mike was saying about the lease and down payments, I couldn't concentrate on choosing a car.  I had to count my GS cookies 4 times to figure things out.   

Thank God I had Mike there to temper my impulses, or I may have bought the wrong car. 

However, I am starting to see some progress on our marriage.  The counselor encouraged us to just let go and start over, as if we just got married a week ago.  As a result, both of us are trying harder and we can see the difference.  We haven't had a fight in a week, and I don't feel like I'm sacrificing myself for it.

The fact that we are happier makes the kids happier.  They still have their fights, all kids will.  But they are doing better.

Both of them are concerning me though.  Jeremy seems to have a hearing problem, and has to go to a audiologist.  Mrs. Brown says he doesn't show signs, but I see them.  And he has a sleep study scheduled to watch his breathing.  Do they even make baby CPAPs?

Natalie stresses out SO much over homework.  I know no kid likes homework, but if she's like this in second grade, what will High School be like?  And going to the nurse is causing her to miss class but she's not allowed to enter carbs on her own in the classroom.  Her grades are dropping.  I just don't know...we could really use that cure for diabetes.  She wanted to fast with me, to support me and pray for a cure too.  I was so touched, but told her she could maybe do one day, but she couldn't do more than that because her sugar would drop.  I told her she could fast from something else - I suggested TV, or restaurant food.  She volunteered to fast from school.  :) 

Right now I'm up at 3:30 again because whenever I lay down I start coughing and it keeps me up.  It's fading slowly but I would be getting better faster without the fast. 

Today I have an independant session with Dr. Arellano, the therapist.  I know Mike and I are getting along better, but I want to figure out why it is that I always hear the negative when people say something about me and why I tend towards hoarding. 

I've been preparing for Mike's surprise.  As we get closer, I'm worried I won't pull it off. For one thing, Kelly can't pick Natalie up at the right time, so I have to stay home until 4, meaning I won't make it to the meeting point until almost 5.  If I know Mike he'll want to leave as soon as he gets the address.  I've been working on coordinating someone who can take her to the cookie cupboard.